


Comfort

by Anonymous



Category: Crankiplier - Fandom, Mark Fischbach/ Ethan Nestor - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Im Projecting, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, we all need a mark sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:55:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28497183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: His arms felt cold and all he wanted was a blanket, but he couldn’t bring his body to move. Flashbacks of the abuse he had endured played over his reality like a double exposed photograph. The memories came in flashes and sensations that almost felt real.-or-Ethan has an episode of flashbacks and Mark helps bring him out of it.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 3
Kudos: 111
Collections: Anonymous





	Comfort

Ethan was making himself and Mark a simple dinner, just sandwiches and chips when he could feel his body start to lock up. His joints become uncomfortably stiff and a resounding ache in his chest. He could feel his mind becoming fuzzy, memories of the past and his ex boyfriend filling his mind. Phantom hands lingered over his inner thighs and along his wrists. The old memory of the grip of his ex boyfriend’s hands were permanently burned into his skin.

Ethan could feel the memories and flashbacks taking over his body and he knew somewhere in the back of his mind all he could do was lie down and wait for it to pass. Despite his limbs feeling as though they weighed one hundred pounds each, Ethan managed to haul himself into his shared bedroom and laid down with his head against the fluffy pillows on the bed. 

His arms felt cold and all he wanted was a blanket, but he couldn’t bring his body to move. Flashbacks of the abuse he had endured played over his reality like a double exposed photograph. The memories came in flashes and sensations that almost felt real. Distantly Ethan could feel his dog curl up against his legs and the front door open. He registered the door opening as Mark returning from his walk with Chica. 

“Eth?” Mark called out into the eerily quiet house. 

He peered into the kitchen in search of his boyfriend, but had no luck. 

“Ethan, I’m back, “ Mark called out once again. 

Ethan could hear Mark’s footsteps coming closer to the door of their bedroom.  
“There you are,” Mark chuckled as he pushed the door open. The grin that graced his features immediately dropped into a frown when he took notice of how tense Ethan’s body was and how unnervingly still he was. 

After dating Ethan for five years, he knew that he was going through another episode of intense flashbacks. They have gotten less and less frequent over time and since Ethan has begun therapy, but they have never decreased in intensity. Mark made his way over to the storage chest at the end of their bed and pulled out a fifteen pound weighted blanket. He carefully draped it over Ethan’s thin frame after coaxing Spencer away from him. 

“You’re okay, Eth,” Mark cooed as he adjusted the blanket, careful not to touch Ethan’s body with his hands. “You’re safe here with me. It’s Mark.” 

Ethan was following Mark’s movement with his eyes which Mark noticed were slightly glazed over. His glossy hazel eyes were an indication to Mark that Ethan still wasn’t quite mentally there with him. Mark turned on the salt lamp that sat in the corner of the room so that it could provide a warm, comforting ambiance to the room that would hopefully bring Ethan out of his episode. 

Ehtan felt as though he was in a prison in his own brain. He could see and hear Mark, but he couldn’t move. He felt trapped with the memories that consumed him and weighed him down, drowning him in pain. Ethan was desperately willing his body to move, to simply speak, but his mouth felt like it was full of cotton, jaw locked tight. The sight of watching Mark leave the room filled Ethan with dread for what was about to come.

Would he hit him? Would he scream in his face for being so weak and letting this still bother him? 

The dread left his body as soon as he saw Mark come back into the bedroom with a gentle smile and his pink water bottle. He gently placed the bottle on the nightstand and knelt down next to the bed.

“Hey, you’re okay,” he whispered. 

Ethan managed to roll his head in the direction of Mark’s voice. Mark’s messy hair and warm eyes brought comfort to Ethan as he tried to focus on him and bring his body further back into reality, into the present moment.  
“Hi,” Mark said softly, reaching a hand out to card his fingers through Ethan’s messy brown hair. The gesture caused Ethan to clench his eyes shut as a way of bracing himself for a hit that he knew in the back of his mind would never truly come. At least not with Mark. 

“Sorry,” Mark apologized. “Can I?”

Ethan stiffly nodded. 

Mark gently ran his fingers through Ethan’s hair, carefully detangling knots that he found along the way.

“You’re safe right here with me, Ethan. It’s just me,” Mark reminded him gently. 

“Mmm,” Ethan whimpered quietly, in a weak attempt to communicate to Mark that he wanted him in the bed with him, holding him.

“I know, it’s okay. Don’t try to talk, just wait it out,” Mark whispered. 

Frustrated, Ethan managed to force his arms out from under the blanket and sluggishly reached forward toward Mark. 

“Hey, what do you need?” Mark asked, standing slightly to lean into his boyfriend’s touch. Ethan weakly gripped Mark’s shirt and pulled. 

“Do you want me to lay with you?” 

Ethan pulled again in response. 

Carefully and albeit a bit reluctantly, not wanting to further drive his boyfriend into his memories, Mark climbed into the bed next to Ethan. Mark gently manhandled Ethan’s body onto his chest so that his ear was resting directly over where his heart is. The gentle thumpthumpthump of Mark’s heart beating helped to ground Ethan and bring him further into reality. 

“Mmm-Mar-k,” Ethan muttered into Mark’s chest, nuzzling his nose into the soft fabric of his sweatshirt.

“What is it, baby?” Mark asked, rubbing his hands over his boyfriend’s shoulders. 

“Thirsty,” Ethan rasped out quietly. 

Ethan could feel the dull ache in his jaw from clenching his teeth shut and his tongue felt unusually dry. Mark leaned across the bed to grab the water bottle he had brought in for this very reason and brought the straw to Ethan’s lips. Ethan gratefully took a few large gulps of water before he pulled his face away. 

“Are you ready to get cleaned up?”

“Will you help me?” Ethan mumbled. “I’m tired.”

“Of course, let me start the bath,” Mark assured him as he pried Ethan’s body away from his chest. Ethan let out a whimper of protest, but didn’t fight him as he knew it would be well worth the short amount of time that they weren’t attached. 

Ethan listened intently to Mark’s footsteps padding across their bedroom into their adjoined bathroom. There was a faint sound of the water splashing against the bottom of the bathtub. Ethan braced himself as he heard Mark’s footsteps returning to the room, he knew he would have to get up from the bed soon. 

“Ready?”

“I guess,” Ethan replied timidly. 

Mark helped Ethan hook his legs around his hips and brought him close against his chest. Ethan weakly wrapped his arms around Mark’s neck and nuzzled his nose into the crook of his neck. Mark gently gripped Ethan’s thighs and carried him into the bathroom, gently setting him down onto the counter.

“Do you want me to help you get your clothes off?” Mark asked, standing between Ethan’s bony knees, his nose still nuzzled into Mark’s neck. 

Ethan nodded against Mark’s skin. Slowly Mark pulled down the zipper of Ethan’s pastel blue hoodie that he was wearing as a shirt and then gently pushed it off of his shoulders. Goosebumps raised on the skin of Ethan’s shoulders, Mark pressed a kiss to his love’s shoulders, hoping the gesture would warm him. Mark reached down to pull the drawstring of Ethan’s sweatpants undone. Ethan’s mind went haywire, mind flashing back a few years to his ex-boyfriend. 

“ I said no, Linc!” Ethan screeched as he jerked away, eyes glossed over again, his arms raised to block any hands that could fling his way. 

“Hey, hey, it’s just me. I’m sorry,” Mark said in an attempt to ground and comfort Ethan. “I’m sorry, I didn’t warn you,” Mark said as he gently looped his fingers around Ethan’s thin wrists, guiding his arms down. Ethan’s breathing was coming out in short, heavy puffs. 

Mark could see that Ethan was quickly spiralling back down into the abyss of flashback and memories. He guided one of Ethan’s hands to his chest and began to exaggerate his slow, steady breaths. 

“Try to match me,” Mark instructed gently. And after a few moments, Ethan did just that, shakily managed to even out his heavy breaths to match Mark’s. 

Once his breaths had become even and no longer shaking, Mark asked Ethan, “Can I take your pants and boxers off, Love?

“Y-Yes,” Ethan croaked, gazing into his boyfriend's eyes. 

“Okay, I’m going to now,” Mark announced as he pulled the drawstrings undone. He hooked his fingers in both Ethan’s pants and boxers to pull them down in one swift movement. Ethan lifted his hips off the counter as best he could so Mark could pull his clothes off his body. 

“Let’s get you in the tub,” Mark murmured, helping Ethan off the counter and onto shaky legs. 

Mark guided Ethan into the half full tub and gently guided him down into the warm, comforting water. Ethan’s head lulled back onto the edge of the tub and his eyes slipped shut, The warm water forcing his tense muscles to unlock and unravel. He let out a soft sigh of comfortable pleasure as he felt his body relax. Mark turned the faucet off and knelt down next to the tub, gazing lovingly at his boyfriend’s figure finally relaxing. 

“Are you here with me?” Mark asked gently.

“Yea,” Ethan responded, opening his eyes to turn and look at Mark. “Just very..tired. I’m sorry this still happens.”

“Don’t apologize for that. Don’t ever. It is not your fault.”

“I know,” Ethan breathed. It was still incredibly difficult for Ethan to say that. To admit that what happened to him was not his fault. 

Mark gave Ethan a sad, gentle smile as he too knew it was difficult for Ethan to admit that to himself. After pouring some body wash onto a washcloth, Mark gently cleaned Ethan’s body for him and washed his hair for him. Ethan always had a difficult time letting Mark take care of him, but on this occasion, it was much easier than before. 

Once Mark and Ethan had finished in the bathroom, Mark tucked his boyfriend into their bed and ordered take out. Ethan nuzzled himself into Mark’s chest after his belly was content full of pizza and brownies. Mark held him close to his chest, and they both fell asleep clinging to each other.


End file.
